My son is 31 years old. I, as a mother, could not be more proud of the man he grew up to be. What a wonderful human being he is. He has been blessed with a quick wit and a great sense of humor. He's intelligent and respectful to all people, and, of course, he's handsome.
I have never heard him say a mean thing about anyone. When I get angry at people who say horrible things about gay people and shake my head in disbelief, he tells me calmly, "Don't get angry. Not everyone feels the way you do. It's just the way things are." My son shouldn't have to say that's "just the way things are!" My son should have rights like every other American has.
On Sept. 11, when the brutal attack on America happened and we went to war, I was nervous because my son was thinking about enlisting. I then asked him what would you do if there was a draft and you were called to serve. I told him you are gay, so you could tell them, you know ...
My son looked at me straight in the eyes and said, "What kind of man would I be if I didn't fight for my country?" I was never more proud of my son, but I was scared for him. There is always a risk of death in war as many families have had to face since this war began. I was less afraid of my son being killed by the enemy (because that is reality) than I was of my son being killed by friendly fire or getting beaten by the fellow Americans he chose to serve with because they found out he was gay. War is ugly enough no matter what the cause we are fighting for, but no parent should have to worry that their child is going to be beaten or killed because of his sexual orientation. If you're gay, you're a sitting target. It is open season to make fun of them, ridicule them, or be disgusted by them. My favorite line is "They're not normal."
When my son first told me he was gay, he was scared, but he knew I loved him. He told me he prayed for God not to make him this way. I could tell the agony he was in. I told him, "God did make you this way. You cannot help who you are. You were born this way." There are no restrictions or conditions to my love for him.
As mothers we bring children into this world and right from the beginning we want what's best for them. We take care of them, nurture them, feed and clothe them. Sometimes our children don't become what we wanted them to become, or sometimes we're disappointed in them or the choices they have made, but it is their life to live.
I cried for my son when he told me. I didn't cry because he was gay, but because I knew what he was in for-the slurs, the ignorance, the hatred that he would have to endure. I laugh when I hear people say it is choice. A choice? What does someone do, just wake up and say, "Oh, I guess I'll be gay today." Why would someone choose to be gay when there are so many mean-spirited, evil people out there who hate them and seem to think they could change them?
So this letter goes out to Sarah Palin's church, and churches like hers that think you could change my son and other gay people. You want to pray for my son because he's gay? Bless you for wanting to pray for my son. Prayers are good; I say them every day. However, he doesn't need your prayers because he's gay, he doesn't have an illness nor is he abnormal, nor is he not loved in the eyes of my Lord. If you want to pray, why don't your followers pray that the Lord blesses them with an open heart, tolerance, kindness and understanding? Why don't they ask the Lord to pray for all who are different to keep them safe and loved? That's what a true Christian would do. When people use mean-spirited, nasty slurs about gay people, remember, you are talking about a mother's child. When elected officials think and say gay citizens should not have the same rights as other American citizens, well, that's just scary.
